Part of growing up is learning your strengths and weaknesses. What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination ain't your thing than by getting drilled in the mouth by a red, rubber ball? You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times before you figure out, 'I better hit the books because this is not working out.

Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.

We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?

If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. Okay, I'll take a taxi, Is that better?

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?

Terrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad is that? I actually got tears in my eyes - because he's 18. What kind of a moron am I raising?