You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.

We need an idiot middle ground, where we have to be honest and say, kids can be idiots and cops can be idiots.

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

We're already going down that path with illegal drug use and incarceration. I can't imagine it getting any worse.

I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?

What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.

We often mock Barack Obama for whining about Fox News. So it's now what Donald Trump is doing? Should we be mocking him for doing the same thing? I know. It is hypocritical if we don't.