There is an apocalyptic view to this that is actually kind of appealing, which is the only way to kill big government is to let it kill itself. It's suicide by gluttony. Right now, the government is approaching Fat Elvis during those years in the '70s right before he croaked on the toilet seat. Basically ObamaCare is a huge tray of bacon and banana sandwiches. And it could happen in our lifetimes.

Legal gun ownership always prevails over the emotionalism of the gun control movement.

Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.

The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.

We often mock Barack Obama for whining about Fox News. So it's now what Donald Trump is doing? Should we be mocking him for doing the same thing? I know. It is hypocritical if we don't.

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

I need somebody to Trump-xplain(ph) this, because I don`t understand it.I`ve heard people defend him about making fun of a disability, making fun of John McCain, making fun of women - a woman`s face.I just wanted to hear somebody defend this as well, because it just never ends. No one will ever stop defending the crass stuff he says.