Every failure teaches a man something, to wit, that he will probably fail again.

Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.

I know of no human being who has a better time than an eager and energetic young reporter.

The townspeople are morons, yokels, peasants and genus homo boobiensis...surrounded by gaping primates from the upland vallies.

Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

Whenever I write anything that sets up controversy its meaning is distorted almost instantly. Even the editorial writers of newspapers seem to be unable to understand the plainest sentence.

What is the professor's function? To pass on to numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and largely untrue.