Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.

The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are just as easy to fool.

There are two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician."

The truth is . . . that the great artists of the world are never puritans, and seldom ever ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man - that is, virtuous in the YMCA sense - has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman.

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself up out of the dark abyss of pish and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y