The function of a newspaper in a democracy is to stand as a sort of chronic opposition to the reigning quacks. The minute it begins to out-whoop them it forfeits its character and becomes ridiculous.

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.

The seasick passenger on an ocean liner detests the good sailor who stalks past him 265 times a day grandly smoking a large, greasy cigar. In precisely the same way the democrat hates the man who is having a better time in the world. This is the origin of democracy. It is also the origin of Puritanism.

The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.

Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas

Never underestimate the bad taste of the American public

He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.