There are some politicians who, if their constituents were cannibals, would promise them missionaries in every pot.

There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out.

Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.

The Christian church, in its attitude toward science, shows the mind of a more or less enlightened man of the Thirteenth Century. It no longer believes that the earth is flat, but it is still convinced that prayer can cure after medicine fails.

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.

The function of a newspaper in a democracy is to stand as a sort of chronic opposition to the reigning quacks. The minute it begins to out-whoop them it forfeits its character and becomes ridiculous.

I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.