What is the function that a clergyman performs in the world? Answer: He gets his living by assuring idiots that he can save them from an imaginary hell.

The worst government is the most moral.

Who will argue that 98.6 Farenheit is the right temperature for man? As for me, I decline to do it. It may be that we are all actually freezing hence the pervading stupidity of mankind. At 110 or 115 degrees even archbishops might be intelligent.

Our literature, despite several false starts that promised much, is chiefly remarkable, now as always, for its respectable mediocrity.

The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.

The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science that smiles in your face while it picks your pocket.

The scent of frying astronomers long ago ceased to ascend to Yahweh.