Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities.

Here is tragedy - and here is America. For the curse of the country, as well of all democracies, is precisely the fact that it treats its best men as enemies. The aim of our society, if it may be said to have an aim, is to iron them out. The ideal American, in the public sense, is a respectable vacuum.

Whenever "A" attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon "B," "A" is most likely a scoundrel.

Suicide is a belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.

Wherever I sit is the head of the table.

What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor