There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.

The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers.

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia.

All I ask is equal freedom. When it is denied, as it always is, I take it anyhow.

It is not a sign of communal well-being when men turn to their government to execute all their business for them, but rather a sign of decay, as in the United States today. The state, indeed, is but one of the devices that a really healthy community sets up to manage its affairs.

It is surely no mere coincidence that the land of the emancipated and enthroned woman is also the land of canned soup, of canned pork and beans, of whole meals in cans, and of everything else ready made.