Well, I tell you, if I have been wrong in my agnosticism, when I die I'll walk up to God in a manly way and say, Sir, I made an honest mistake.

There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.

I know of no human being who has a better time than an eager and energetic young reporter.

When a private citizen is robbed, a worthy man is deprived of the fruits of his industry and thrift; when the government is robbed, the worst that happens is that certain rogues and loafers have less money to play with than they had before.

There are no ugly cigars, only ugly smokers.

What ass first let loose the doctrine that the suffrage is a high boon and voting a noble privilege?

The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spends his leisure as a dog spends it. His recreations are all puerile, and the time supposed to benefit him really only stupefies him.