No man ever quite believes in any other man.

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.

The priest, realistically considered, is the most immoral of men, for he is always willing to sacrifice every other sort of good to the one good of his arcanum - the vague body of mysteries that he calls the truth.

I know of no American who starts from a higher level of aspiration than the journalist. . . . He plans to be both an artist and a moralist -- a master of lovely words and merchant of sound ideas. He ends, commonly, as the most depressing jackass of his community -- that is, if his career goes on to what is called a success.

Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.

The life of man in this world is like the life of a fly in a room filled with 100 boys, each armed with a fly-swatter.