There is no idea so stupid that you can't find a professor who will believe it.

When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.

A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.

Taxation, for example, is eternally lively; it concerns nine-tenths of us more directly than either smallpox or golf, and has just as much drama in it; moreover, it has been mellowed and made gay by as many gaudy, preposterous theories

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.

The Christian church, in its attitude toward science, shows the mind of a more or less enlightened man of the Thirteenth Century. It no longer believes that the earth is flat, but it is still convinced that prayer can cure after medicine fails.