The chief knowledge that's man on from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are worth reading.

I roll out of my couch every morning with the more agreeable expectations.

It is the fundamental theory of all the more recent American law...that the average citizen is half-witted, and hence not to be trusted to either his own devices or his own thoughts.

The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.

The true function of art is to criticize, embellish and edit nature… the artist is a sort of impassioned proof-reader, blue penciling the bad spelling of God.

Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.

Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible.