To sense when a teenager needs understanding and when misunderstanding is a difficult and delicate task. The sad truth is that no matter how wise we are, we cannot be right for any length of time in our teenagers' eyes.

Responsibility is fostered by allowing children a voice and wherever indicated a choice in matters that affect them.

To be himself, one neeeds to be free from the pressure of evaluative praise

Whenever I hear about a child needing something, I ask myself, 'Is it what he needs or what he wants?' It isn't always easy to distinguish between the two. A child has many real needs which can and should be satisfied. His wants are a bottomless pit. He wants, for example, to sleep with his parents. He needs to be in his own bed. At Christmas he wants every toy advertised on television. He needs only one or two.

When children feel understood, their loneliness and hurt diminish. When children are understood, their love for their parent is deepened. A parent's sympathy serves as emotional first aid for bruised feelings. When we genuinely acknowledge a child's plight and voice her disappointment, she often gathers the strength to face reality.

Teenagers crave independence. The more self-suf-ficient we make them feel, the less hostile they are toward us.

Many teenagers are tormented by terrors they deem private and personal. They do not know that their anxieties and doubts are universal.