Wise parents know that fighting a teenager, like fighting a riptide, is inviting doom.

Many teenagers are tormented by terrors they deem private and personal. They do not know that their anxieties and doubts are universal.

To be himself, one neeeds to be free from the pressure of evaluative praise

Only if a child feels right can he think right.

Teenagers crave independence. The more self-suf-ficient we make them feel, the less hostile they are toward us.

I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.

Whenever I hear about a child needing something, I ask myself, 'Is it what he needs or what he wants?' It isn't always easy to distinguish between the two. A child has many real needs which can and should be satisfied. His wants are a bottomless pit. He wants, for example, to sleep with his parents. He needs to be in his own bed. At Christmas he wants every toy advertised on television. He needs only one or two.