Teenagers crave independence. The more self-suf-ficient we make them feel, the less hostile they are toward us.

Parenthood is an endless series of small events, periodic conflicts, and sudden crises which call for a response. The response is not without consequence: it affects personality for better or for worse.

Misbehavior and punishment are not opposites that cancel each other - on the contrary they breed and reinforce each other.

Responsibility is fostered by allowing children a voice and wherever indicated a choice in matters that affect them.

Whenever I hear about a child needing something, I ask myself, 'Is it what he needs or what he wants?' It isn't always easy to distinguish between the two. A child has many real needs which can and should be satisfied. His wants are a bottomless pit. He wants, for example, to sleep with his parents. He needs to be in his own bed. At Christmas he wants every toy advertised on television. He needs only one or two.

The search for a personal identity is the life task of a teenager.

I have great faith in 'ordinary parents.' Who has a child's welfare more at heart than his ordinary parent? It's been my experience that when parents are given the skills to be more helpful, not only are they able to use these skills, but they infuse them with a warmth and a style that is uniquely their own.