Welcome to the degeneration of my mind.

I have very little patience for teachers who teach their students things that are wrong.

Think of people as people, not problems that need to be solved.

If you were a crayon, what color would you most like to make out with?

Marriage can be a religious thing. It can also be a secular thing. And guess what? Not everyone in the world is of the same religion. Preventing gay people from getting married is not an expression of religious freedom. It's an expression of religious oppression.

I'm also pretty impressive when I'm shoving the neck of a lute into someone's chest cavity.

So the president is like, "Well, once upon a time it was Congress's job to decide whether or not we attacked countries, so let's let them decide." Which is funny, because, as we all know, if Congress were on fire, Congress could not pass the "Pour Water on Congress Act".