Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.

Dennis to friend: No use crying, Joey. There aren't any grownups around.

No more turkey, but I'd like some more of the bread it ate.

You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played.

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.

Just because I didn't do what you told me, doesn't mean I wasn't listening to you!

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.