When I go to a bar or a party, I feel like a student invited me to the kegger, and I actually ended up going. And everyone's shocked: "Oh, my god, professor, I didn't know you were actually going to come!" That's me in any circle, really, especially when I hang out with my brother's friends.

I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

It's always fun when you see different comics at different weights or with different hair.

I don't tie my shoes right. I tie them the way you would tie a gift, like a bow.

Just give us 50 years where we're the only ones who are allowed to profit from art, and then you can do whoever you want. In fact, I'll buy you the paint. Whatever you want. Just give us 50 years. 50 years. That's it.

There are a lot of times where people think I'm in things that I'm not in, because they think I'm Kumail Nanjiani.

People always talk about the content, in terms of the politics of it or whatever social issues are in it, and it's like, "Yeah, but I'm also a good comic." You could at least talk about the form of it, and I feel like that's always the thing that's missed.