I never learned how to tie my shoes, and I was mocked for that. I still don't know how to.

It's a sick thing, right: people are afraid of public speaking. I do public speaking, except my public speaking involves the audience only having one type of emotion and one type of reaction. If they have anything other than laughter, it's a failure. That's an absurd thing for a human to try to seek. The main thing to realize is that whatever I say, it's my truth and I believe in it, and if I don't get a laugh off that, then it's not working.

I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

There are a lot of times where people think I'm in things that I'm not in, because they think I'm Kumail Nanjiani.

It's always fun when you see different comics at different weights or with different hair.

Another stupid thing I believed for a long time was that pizza was supposed to be said peed-za.

It would be cool for someone to ask me about some of the structural choices I make with my albums.