Is this what it means to go back to square one? Most likely. He had nothing left to lose, other than his life.
Haruki MurakamiThings can be seen better in the darkness," he said, as if he had just seen into her mind. "But the longer you spend in the dark, the harder it becomes to return to the world aboveground where the light is
Haruki MurakamiYou know what girls are like. They turn twenty or twenty-one and all of a sudden they start having these concrete ideas. They get super realistic. And when that happens, everything that seemed so sweet and lovable about them begins to look ordinary and depressing.
Haruki Murakami