Vlad decided that teachers' ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren't careful, DEADLY.

Because pieces of your heart clearly weigh more when they're sitting shattered at the bottom of your stomach.

Lesson #456 of high school life: Never, EVER trust an alarm clock.

Nothing could convince Aunt Nelly to let Vlad stay home for the duration of the school year, which just goes to prove that parents and guardians don't care if they're sending you to face bloodthirsty monsters, so long as you get a B in English.

Vlad's heart sank into his stomach, then squeezed its way down his leg and popped out of the hole in his shoe, where it struck the floor and broke.

this is the best year ever because i am reading the chronicles of vladimir tod

Vampires,after all,don't sparkle.