If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third.

Lesson #456 of high school life: Never, EVER trust an alarm clock.

She raised a sharp eyebrow at him. "Vlad, no offense, but look at you. If you're not a vampire, you're clearly the most anemic goth I've ever seen."... "We believed you. Because that's what friends do." pg267 October to Vlad

Vlad's heart sank into his stomach, then squeezed its way down his leg and popped out of the hole in his shoe, where it struck the floor and broke.

Read the vladimir tod series

Don't you find any irony in a vampire sucking up?

The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.