If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits.

He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve.

The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.