Just two days in Manhattan and you find yourself looking for a place to wash your handkerchief after you wipe your forehead and it comes away black. Is there a dirtier or more fascinating city anywhere in the land? The answer to both parts of the question has to be positively negative.

One day if I do go to heaven...I'll look around and say, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.

The world of Manhattan is small and tightly knit, and the man on top retains a certain humility. He knows how far and fast he can fall by looking at the guy across the street. The view from the $250,000 apartment covers a lot of ground, most of it condemned.

The precise location of heaven on earth has never been established but it may very well be right here

Satire of satire tends to be self-canceling, and deliberate shock tactics soon lose their ability to shock, especially when they're too deliberate.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.