The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

We (San Francisco) have football weather during baseball season, and baseball weather during football season.

Best trumpet: Mike Vax, an alumnus of the Kenton Band, who plays every style with a bright cutting edge, throwing in bop riffs here and there.

One day if I do go to heaven...I'll look around and say, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.

A good column is one that sells paper. It doesn't matter how beautifully it is written and how much you admire the author... if it doesn't sell any papers, it's not a good column. It's a terrible yardstick to use, but in the newspaper business, that's the whole thing.

Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many.