The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

When a place advertises itself as 'World Famous,' you may be sure it isn't.

The clock doesn't matter in baseball. Time stands still or moves backwards. Theoretically, one game could go on forever. Some seem to.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

A good column is one that sells paper. It doesn't matter how beautifully it is written and how much you admire the author... if it doesn't sell any papers, it's not a good column. It's a terrible yardstick to use, but in the newspaper business, that's the whole thing.

The world of Manhattan is small and tightly knit, and the man on top retains a certain humility. He knows how far and fast he can fall by looking at the guy across the street. The view from the $250,000 apartment covers a lot of ground, most of it condemned.

Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many.