A good column is one that sells paper. It doesn't matter how beautifully it is written and how much you admire the author... if it doesn't sell any papers, it's not a good column. It's a terrible yardstick to use, but in the newspaper business, that's the whole thing.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

A city is a crazy concrete jungle whose people at the end of each day somehow make a small step ahead against terrible odds.

Logic is no answer to passion.

Satire of satire tends to be self-canceling, and deliberate shock tactics soon lose their ability to shock, especially when they're too deliberate.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.