Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many.

Old San Francisco - the one so many nostalgics yearn for - had buildings that related well to each other.

The clock doesn't matter in baseball. Time stands still or moves backwards. Theoretically, one game could go on forever. Some seem to.

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

San Franciscans have a bond of self-satisfaction bordering on smugness.

Baffling late-life discovery: Golfers wear those awful clothes on purpose.

A good column is one that sells paper. It doesn't matter how beautifully it is written and how much you admire the author... if it doesn't sell any papers, it's not a good column. It's a terrible yardstick to use, but in the newspaper business, that's the whole thing.