Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

A city is where you can sign a petition, boo the chief justice, fish off a pier, gaze at a hippopotamus, buy a flower at the corner, or get a good hamburger or a bad girl at 4 A.M. A city is where sirens make white streaks of sound in the sky and foghorns speak in dark grays. San Francisco is such a city.

Best trumpet: Mike Vax, an alumnus of the Kenton Band, who plays every style with a bright cutting edge, throwing in bop riffs here and there.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

We are reorganizing in order to eliminate duplication and redundancy.

Satire of satire tends to be self-canceling, and deliberate shock tactics soon lose their ability to shock, especially when they're too deliberate.