New Yorkers are stuck in a gloomy mucilage of mutual commiseration.

We (San Francisco) have football weather during baseball season, and baseball weather during football season.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

A good column is one that sells paper. It doesn't matter how beautifully it is written and how much you admire the author... if it doesn't sell any papers, it's not a good column. It's a terrible yardstick to use, but in the newspaper business, that's the whole thing.

One day if I do go to heaven...I'll look around and say, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?