The only way to find the best actor would be to let everybody play Hamlet and let the best man win.

It is at least worth arguing that there is a modicum of the creative novelist in all of us, and that this absorption with how men get out of difficulties, single-handedly and alone if possible, is the stuff of which we weave the warp and woof of our own better dramatic imaginings.

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.

That's baseball, and it's my game. Y' know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave 'em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It's good for your lungs, gives you a lift, and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of 'em.

There never seems to be any trouble brewing around a bar until a woman puts that high heel over the brass rail. Don't ask me why, but somehow women at bars seem to create trouble among men.

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

The only reason to make a million dollars in this business is to tell some fat producer to go to hell.