I gave up drinking once -- it was the worst afternoon of my entire life.

Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains!

There are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.

That's baseball, and it's my game. Y' know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave 'em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It's good for your lungs, gives you a lift, and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of 'em.

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

Acting is like sex: you either do it and don't talk about it, or you talk about it and don't do it. That's why I'm always suspicious of people who talk too much about either.

I made more lousy pictures than any actor in history.