As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.

I never knew where I was going, but I ripped the tits off of everything that got in my way. By the time they figured me out, it was too late.

We have bigger things to brood on and enormous reasons for wallowing in terminal craziness until we finally hit bottom.

In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas.

Sex, drugs, and insanity have always worked for me, but I wouldn't recommend them for everyone.