As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.

The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life

Bill Clinton does not inhale marijuana, right? You bet. Like I chew on LSD but I don't swallow it.'

Life is beautiful and living is pain.

One of the most basic factors in sports is that winning becomes a habit, and losing is the same way. When failure starts to feel normal in your life or your work or even your darkest vices, you won't have to go looking for trouble, because trouble will find you. Count on it.

Old elephants limp off to the hills to die; old Americans go out to the highway and drive themselves to death with huge cars.

Nixon was a professional politician, and I despised everything he stood for -- but if he were running for president this year against the evil Bush-Cheney gang, I would happily vote for him.