For myself, losing is not coming second. It's getting out of the water knowing you could have done better. For myself, I have won every race I've been in

I think now I'll probably take a few days off and enjoy the competition and then sit down with a few people and work out what is next, work out what the next preparation will be and what competition will be next.

Compared to how I have raced before and how I have competed, the success that I have had, this does look like doom compared to it.

The only thing is I am a little bit ashamed of is I didn't come out earlier, that I didn't have the strength to do it, the courage to break that lie. But everyone goes on their own path to do this, and I don't want the struggle to be so hard for other people.

I'll go for broke. Swim faster. It's not going to be easy - this whole thing was never going to be easy.

There is water in every lane, so it is OK.

Im pleased to say that in telling them, and especially my parents, they told me that they love me and they support me. And for young people out there, know that thats usually what the answer is.