The event is not what you should be working on. You should be working on your response or reaction to an event. You either react to it - that means you become victimized, and you say this thing is happening to you - or you respond to it and say the solution must come through you - that's where you stay focused, not on the rightness, wrongness, fairness of the event, but on the appropriateness of your response.

Instead of running from what you don't want, walk with commitment toward what you desire. Focus on where you are going rather than being obsessed with where you have been.

What looks like a failure teaches us what not to do, what does not work. We have lessons to learn from our experiences.

You must be willing to examine and explore your dark side. You must acknowledge how bad you can be and how horribly unloving you can behave. When you know how deep and dark your dark side is, it helps you stand a little taller in the light.

At every single moment, we are given the opportunity to choose our future. What we do today will determine what we face next week, next month, or next year. It is at the moment of a particular occurrence that we are called upon to make a choice: Will I do it the way I've always done it, or will I do it a different way.

You must be ready in mind, body, and spirit before you can make a change. People cannot convince you to do it. You cannot force you to do it. Everything you think, say, and do until that happens is just preparation. So love yourself right now. Honor yourself. Keep talking to yourself. Keep thinking ready thoughts. In the meantime, try to remember you will not be ready until you are ready.

WE [black women] HAVE ADAPTED TO A SOCIETY THAT DOES'NT HONOR US.