I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

I'm, like, everybody's friend. I'm one of those dudes. I can be friends with anybody. Any race of person, any personality, I can kind of deal with them. I accept different types of people.

I never write jokes, I just try to make myself laugh.

Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.

I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.

I should be European. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.