You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.

As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.

I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going!

If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.

Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

I was the hallway clown in high school.