Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.

I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into the mind of a kid.

You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?

When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.

You gotta improvise in life. You gotta improv if the police pull you over.

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.