I'm an aspiring writer. I hate that phrase. You're either a writer or you're not.

A long life or a short life are of equal importance to God.

Seems like every other day there's somebody on the news, somebody gets killed or does something crazy and all the neighbors and everybody says, "I can't believe he did that, I can't believe she did that."

I seem like a big bombastic outgoing dude, when it comes down to it with the ladies, when I was a single, free-wheeling dude, I was always very shy. It was difficult to form sentences with the girl of my dreams.

Just because you don't know how to do stand-up doesn't mean you don't know how to put on a show.

I like being married. I'm at home with my wife and kids all the time now. I don't go out for wild nights.

When I was in High School I fell for pretty much any girl I ever met. But I was so desperate that I couldn't get any of them because they sensed my desperation! After many, many years, I learned to relax and just be myself.