I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

Oh, you wanna do a little bit of roleplay? Could you just play dead?

I only got into comedy to get laid

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories... if you lick it.

I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.