Money spent on vegetative patients is money not spent on preventive care, such as flu shots and mammograms. Each night in an ICU bed for such patients is a night that another patient with a genuine prognosis for recovery is denied such high-end care. Every dollar exhausted on patients who will never wake up again is a dollar not devoted to finding a cure for cancer.

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

The cold, cruel reality is that with one current justice now approaching ninety, and four others over seventy, the day will inevitably arrive when a sitting justice lies in an intensive care unit, both unable to resign and unable to resume his or her duties.

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke.

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.