Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.

Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke.

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

The cold, cruel reality is that with one current justice now approaching ninety, and four others over seventy, the day will inevitably arrive when a sitting justice lies in an intensive care unit, both unable to resign and unable to resume his or her duties.

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.