The same people who accuse America of coddling dictators are sputtering with bilious fury because we actually deposed one.

The popular Arab imagination is a pliant and inventive thing; it can explain any defeat. It is a compass that always points toward the Jew.

I don't believe in the very concept of "first thing in the morning." I'm a "third thing in the afternoon" fellow.

I'll start drinking tea over coffee when the big hand is on Never and the little hand is on Ain't Gonna Happen.

If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems.

The newspaper is a lecture. The Web is a conversation.

Calculus destroys self-esteem on contact.