Life is hard, and a lot of people come home tired from work. If they're gonna spend half an hour reading, they want some entertainment and a sense of achievement. So that's what I give them. That's all I'm trying to do. Is that really so wrong?

I don't know about the rest of you who have little voices, but something about mine made me feel completely compelled to listen to it.

He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.” “I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

Just in case you thought elephants were all sweetness, I can attest to the fact that this one had the time of her life scaring the bejeezus out of those dudes.

why can't you just get out of here and leave me alone?"i bellowed. "i can't!" dylan shouted back,his face twisted with an anger i'd never seen from him. "you can,"i said through gritted teeth."just point your wings that way and flap!

Huh - Why is Max in the kitchen?" Dr.Martinez: "We're cooking." Gazzy: "She's just keeping you company, right?" Dr.Martinez: "No, she's cooking." Nudge: "Cooking...food?" Max: "Yes, I'm cooking food, and it's great, and you're going to eat it, you twerps!

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.