Cats are like Baptists. You know they raise hell, but you can never catch them at it.

People always come up to me and say, 'you should do standup.' It's nice to discover things about yourself. That keeps everything lively and fun.

Well, I don’t know. Mostly I just suck up what life throws my way, stomp on it, and then keep going. I don’t dwell much on what I am or how I got this way. It just is. I just am. I’m Max, and whatever form I take, it’s good enough for me.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

I couldn’t leave Total behind.” “Total?” Iggy asked. “That’s what his card said,” Angel explained. “Totally a mutant dog who will probably turn on us and kill us in our sleep,” Fang said.

Ari felt like, Hellooo, I have wings! I turn into a wolf! Blending is out is out of the question!

Man, you weigh a freaking ton," he told me. "What've you been eating, rocks?" "Why, is your head missing some?" I croaked. His mouth almost quirked in a smile, and that's when I knew how upset he'd been