Man is troubled by what might be called the Dog Wish, a strange and involved compulsion to be as happy and carefree as a dog

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

Until a man can quit talking loudly to himself in order to shout down the memories of blunderings and gropings, he is in no shape for the painstaking examination of distress.

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

He had as much fun in the water as any person I have known. You didn't have to throw a stick in the water to get him to go in. Of course, he would bring back a stick to you if you did throw one in. He would even have brought back a piano if you had thrown one in.

There are two kinds of light - the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.

Humourists lead... an existence of jumpiness and apprehension. They sit on the edge of the chair of Literature. In the house of Life they have the feeling that they have never taken off their overcoats.