She wasn't much to look at but she was something to think about.

It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa.

American girls often marry someone they can't stand to spite someone they can.

Though statisticians in our time have never kept the score, Man wants a great deal here below and Woman even more.

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are set up, and because I have the hope it may do some good.