Every man is occasionally visited by the suspicion that the planet on which he is riding is not really going anywhere; that the Force which controls its measured eccentricities hasn't got anything special in mind. If he broods on this somber theme long enough he gets the doleful idea that the laughing children on a merry-go-round or the thin, fine hands of a lady's watch are revolving more purposely than he is.

Writers of comedy have outlook, whereas writers of tragedy have, according to them, insight.

A false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.

Comedy has ceased to be a challenge to the mental processes. It has become a therapy of relaxation, a kind of tranquilizing drug.

Unless artists can remember what it was to be a little boy, they are only half complete as artist and as man.

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

The sanity of the average banquet speaker lasts about two and a half months; at the end of that time he begins to mutter to himself, and calls out in his sleep.