Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything.

A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddamn

Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!

What would you do without me? Say 'nothing.'" "Nothing," said the Prince. "Good. Then you're helpless and I'll help you.

The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth.

A false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.