If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps.

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

Columbus is a town in which almost anything is likely to happen, and in which almost everything has.

Americans want to go to heaven without dying.

Dogs are obsessed with being happy.

Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.

History is replete with proofs, from Cato the Elder to Kennedy the Younger, that if you scratch a statesman you find an actor, but it is becoming harder and harder, in our time, to tell government from show business.